The trouble is that, well, words are kind of all we have. Lori even says this: they are the symbols, albeit imperfect, for larger things like emotions, and we describe those emotions with words (notice that we even translate the silences and pauses into word-based concepts like “embarrassment” and “fatigue.”) We use words to tell our stories and the stories of those we serve. The phone calls that made such an emotional impact were filled with words, and the method through which Lori communicated that impact so well was words — and, really, no other method could have been as effective.

Perhaps the larger issue here is that we are so used to the mindless and careless use of language in our culture that we are in a way desensitized to their power when used effectively. We don’t take time to gain mastery of words or to really think about what we’re saying (often, not surprisingly, because we are acting out of unidentified emotional places), and then we get frustrated when our message doesn’t get across.

But that really isn’t the fault of the words; they are not the thing that’s lacking, because they are simply tools. It’s like blaming the hammer for bending the nail: at some point, we have to recognize that we’re the ones holding the hammers. And we have two choices — we can use the tool poorly, or we can decide to learn how to use it extremely well. It takes time, patience and humility to choose the second option and to ask for help when we are struggling.

I think Lori brings up some great food for thought, and I thank her for planting the seeds to get some good conversations going.